LA CONTRE HISTOIRE DES PRINCES ET PRINCESSES
Comment les récits de notre enfance ont façonné nos comportements amoureux ?
Les histoires qui nous sont contés dans notre enfance ne sont pas de simples divertissements innocents. Ces récits façonnent nos pensées, notre perception des rôles de l’homme et de la femme, nos attentes en matière de relations amoureuses et par conséquent nos comportements … Pour le meilleur ou pour le pire ?
Written by Chloé Lesage - September 2024
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Environ 10 minutes
ESPRIT SAIN, AMOUR SAIN : Repenser et démystifier les contes de fées pour des relations épanouies et équilibrées
Le post de Chloé a une résonance philosophique intéressante par rapport au slogan de Yogaterrae, Esprit Sain, Vie Saine. Ce post explore la manière dont les récits de l'enfance, souvent idéalisés, influencent les perceptions adultes de l'amour et des relations. Il interroge les schémas inconscients transmis par ces histoires et les attentes qu'elles génèrent, soulignant la nécessité d'une prise de conscience pour se libérer de ces conditionnements et réécrire son propre chemin.
Et si un jour vous pensiez réécrire votre propre conte de fées ! Plongeons dans cette réflexion inspirante :)
" Let's take a look " !
CHILDHOOD TALES: UNCONSCIOUS PROGRAMMING
HOW YOU CAN'T LIVE HAPPILY OR HAVE MANY CHILDREN
Ninety percent of modern fairy tales and romances create unrealistic expectations, harmful attitudes, impossible romantic pursuits, and disappointments. Despite variations in era, setting, or context, the pattern is always the same: the princess (or heroine) is often in distress, waiting to be rescued by a charming prince with whom she will live "happily ever after and have many children."
These stories are necessary for self-construction and understanding the world around us. The problem? This initial subliminal information is false and forms the basis of how we function as adults, like data in software or the fundamentals of a structure.
The difficulty as an adult is that these messages are so ingrained that we no longer even recognize them. They are acquired, even if they are false and create interference.
This is how we witness certain disastrous behaviors such as:
- suffering for a long time in the relationship,
- completely forget yourself by merging into your relationship
- letting go of what was important to us to please the other
- persist in a story that is doomed from the start,
- do everything to get with a partner who is not right for us,
- or even start playing a role…
Sometimes it even produces people who go from one romantic relationship to another, being totally passionate at first and then quickly desperate.
because disillusioned by reality.
If we could revise the basic program to make it more coherent and realistic, then we could have much more balanced relationships with ourselves and with others.
LA PASSIVITÉ DE LA PRINCESSE : ATTENTE ET ILLUSIONS DE PERFECTION
WHAT FAIRY TALES EXPECT FROM THE PRINCESS:
In these stories, the woman's role is often reduced to waiting for someone else to come and solve her problems. This implies that she must be passive and that the key lies in the romantic relationship. (Despite all other possible sources of help such as family, friends or the simple generosity of a stranger.)
So she loses her inner power...
Except that whatever we haven't resolved within ourselves continues to reappear in multiple contexts. Without an awareness of the elements within ourselves that have contributed to this situation, we cannot hope to fully recover from it.
It is up to the characters to create their own destiny and work to build what they want to attract into their lives.
Additionally, princesses are generally portrayed as beautiful and gentle. This "houseplant" image can lead some women to overcommit to their physical appearance and forget about their inner connection.
Another underlying idea of these stories is that the partner with whom to create a sacred couple is chosen based on their ability to come to the rescue. The savior is considered a perfect and necessarily beneficial man. However, this in no way predicts that the prince and princess will be compatible in the long term.
Besides, the princess shouldn't have to stay with her savior. He saved her life, yes, but that doesn't mean there's any submission or debts to repay. Unless you fall into the disastrous triangle of savior, victim, and executioner (Kartman's triangle). The princess can therefore thank for the help she received and then move on with her life.
MAKE THE PRINCESS MASTER OF HER DESTINY
THE PRINCESS CAN BECOME QUEEN WITHOUT HER PRINCE
The ultimate goal of these stories, seen and reviewed, is to end up as a couple as a guarantee of protection against all misfortunes. This makes it a status to be preserved at all costs. But the couple is not an end in itself, moreover, is it not the beginning? Is it not in itself an initiatory path?
Of course, having children, and especially lots of them, is presented as the culmination of a life while many other dreams could be just as much so.
Destiny seems to play a central role in these unions, suggesting that if love does not come, it is simply because fate did not foresee it. Are there not other parameters that can push love away or others that can attract it? Attitudes, beliefs, energies…?
Fairy tales should also remind us that we are responsible for what we experience and that happiness requires constant effort to be built every day.
THE SAVIOR: AN UNFAIR BURDEN ON MEN
CE QUE LES CONTES DE FÉE ATTENDENT DU PRINCE :
Quant au prince, son rôle traditionnel consiste à repérer une jeune fille en détresse puis de la sauver. Cela sous-entend que si une jeune fille va bien, elle n’est pas digne de recevoir de l’attention, et que le prince n'a sa place que si il a un problème à résoudre. Il doit se battre pour obtenir sa princesse, et s'il échoue, c'est qu'il n'a pas été assez fort. Il doit être le maitre de la situation et apporter des solutions.
Les efforts doivent se faire au début pour gagner le trophée (la princesse) ensuite il peut enfin se reposer. Dans cette logique, s’il réussi les épreuves il est évident que la princesse est acquise.
THE PRINCE: FROM SAVIOR TO EQUAL PARTNER
THE PRINCE CAN BECOME KING WITHOUT HIS PRINCESS
But in reality, the prince doesn't need to save anyone except himself. In a healthy relationship, everyone must be responsible for their own actions. The prince deserves a partner who is a good fit. This person doesn't have to have any problems to solve; they can be just as well.
Mutual respect is essential to building a balanced relationship. It doesn't need to look perfect, just be authentic.
His goal isn't to win a princess, but to fulfill himself, whether in a relationship or alone. A relationship requires constant maintenance.
There is no room for a culture of sacrifice. It can be a balanced and constructive exchange.
The role of the prince is not that of the progenitor. He plays a crucial role in motherhood, parenthood, and education.
It is up to us to change these conditions.
RÉÉCRIRE NOS MYTHES : VERS DES MODÈLES PLUS RÉALISTES, LIBRES ET INSPIRANTS
Bien sûr, nous ne pouvons pas en vouloir à nos ancêtres de nous avoir formatés dans de tels mensonges. Ils étaient enfermés dans une vision politique et catholique d’un couple qui se forme et qui crée une famille nombreuse pour assurer sa pérennité. Ainsi, avec beaucoup d’enfants, l’avenir de la société est assuré. Les gens sont alors très occupés et doivent beaucoup travailler pour obtenir les moyens d’élever leur progéniture, de quoi « assurer la paix sociale ».
Heureusement, à notre époque, nous commençons à revoir ces histoires.
En réécrivant nos mythes fondateurs, nous pouvons offrir des modèles inspirants, sources de sagesse, où chacun peut s’épanouir librement et trouver sa propre voie.
ET SI ON CHANGEAIT LES PARAMETRES ?
WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF THIS WAS THE STORY WE WERE TOLD INSTEAD?
Once upon a time, there was a young girl who was locked away in her house. She loved her room, even though she could never leave it. It was very cozy here, and she was completely safe. Every day, she was brought food and clothes. The world turned by itself. She could read, sing, and dance as she pleased. Sometimes she looked out the window and let her long brown hair fall down.
Once, a woman passed by and asked her, "Have you seen all those mushrooms at the foot of your facade?" This question puzzled her; she had never wondered what she might find outside. Then the days continued to pass in idleness. One day, a man passed by and offered to come and show her the world. She thanked him kindly, because it was much warmer here than outside. But this question of mushrooms nagged at her. Day after day, her curiosity began to grow. She had never seen a mushroom and wondered what else she might be missing. So she asked for postcards from around the world to be brought to her. It was incredible, all these things she had never seen.
What if... what if... for once, she stepped outside... As if by magic, a young man her age, intrigued by her hair that was visible from afar, approached her window. He promised to take her to see all the places on the postcards hanging on her wall. He was so handsome... Passion won her heart... But she was still clinging to her golden room, so she continued to enjoy this beautiful place.
But one day, she decided it was time: "Today, I'm going out for just a moment." She slipped out the window and discovered what it was like to sink her bare feet into the cool, damp grass. It was just as cozy as her room. Still, she decided to go back inside before anyone noticed her absence.
Then, little by little, escaping from time to time, she went further and further. This time, she was ready to go and discover the world.
FINDING HARMONY IN SHARED FREEDOM
FREE YOURSELF FROM THE CHAINS
But just as she had made her decision, she realized there were chains around her ankles. They were big enough to escape, but not big enough to go exploring. The chains had always been there, but she had never really seen them. She simply lived with them. She tried everything she could to free herself from them, but the chains were far too strong. She was beginning to despair.
One day, when an old man was passing by, she asked him if he had the wisdom to break such chains. This man was a blacksmith; it was truly his specialty. He showed her how to do it, and with the right method and the right tools, she was able to untie them. She was finally free, and she had made her decision: "From now on, I will be free."
She began to explore the world; it was harsh and magnificent at the same time. Many knights tried to seduce her, for the freedom she embodied was as attractive as honey to bees. Aside from a little frolic, frankly, they weren't very interesting. One day, while regularly eating at one of her favorite restaurants, she was intrigued by a man she heard talking. He had just returned from an exploration in Antarctica. She asked him about his experiences. As she listened to him, she vibrated inside, feeling how he too embodied freedom, but in his own way. Little by little, they discovered that they had the same aspirations. The more they spent time together, the more they saw that they made a wonderful team. They discovered that their differences were a strength and that their talents were complementary.
Their friendship blossomed into a deep bond. Together, they discovered they made a formidable team and flourished just as much individually as they did together. Neither of them had to give up any part of themselves. Harmony reigned most of the time. This is how they lived happily ever after and achieved their dreams.
The End.
REPROGRAMMER SON LOGICIEL INTÉRIEUR : VERS DES DYNAMIQUES D'AMOUR ÉQUILIBRÉES
COMMENT MODIFIER SON LOGICIEL DE BASE ?
En prenant conscience de ses propres représentations de l’amour et des différents rôles, on peut observer les dynamiques que l’on co-crée et les corriger petit à petit.
Alors oui, c’est possible de modifier les présupposés même si cela prend du temps.
Par exemple, une méthode efficace pourrait être de relire des histoires plus constructives chaque jour, et ainsi, repositionner les fondements, équilibrés et harmonieux, du lien à soi et à l’autre.
Thank you Chloe for this beautiful article.
Il nous invite à réfléchir avec douceur et profondeur sur nos croyances et notre cheminement personnel.
Chloe's Bio
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Chloé LESAGE
Leadership Coach and Project Facilitator
"A warrior at heart, that's often the conclusion I receive when I explain my life journey. After a difficult start on this earth, I sought inner balance and expansion through a 15-year journey of personal development where I tested all conventional and atypical practices.Since we never stop learning, I continually feed my thirst for understanding. High intellectual and emotional potential, I learned to put my abilities at the service of life so that it becomes a gift.
My method is at the junction between who I am, the reappropriation of my 2-year training in personal development coaching as well as all my life experiences.
It is a practice that puts into experience and intervenes, all at the same time, on the body, the emotions and the spiritual dimension. For me, it is out of the question to accompany for years what would cause, in my opinion, dependence. However, my work is to create the conditions for reappropriation of one's inner power to obtain immediate results in the materialization of one's objectives.
More information about his professional career
Plus d'articles de Chloé...
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DISCOVER THE ARTICLEApprenez à transformer votre empathie en force intérieure pour mieux gérer vos émotions et vivre en harmonie avec votre sensibilité.
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APPRENDRE À RÉUSSIR SES OBJECTIFS
DISCOVER THE ARTICLEDécouvrez comment donner du sens à chaque étape en fixant des objectifs réalistes et en transformant les obstacles en opportunités.
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THE ART OF A HEALTHY MIND, FOR A HEALTHY LIFE
DISCOVER THE ARTICLESaviez-vous que nous avons plusieurs "corps" interdépendants, chacun jouant un rôle essentiel dans notre bien-être global ?
* Envie de partager un moment de votre vie qui pourrait inspirer et toucher les coeurs du plus grand nombre ?
Prenez la plume et devenez notre tête d'affiche dès la semaine prochaine !
Toute l'équipe de Yogaterrae sera ravie de mettre en lumière vos réflexions et expériences, qui résonnent au cœur de la communauté Yogaterrae, désormais devenue une véritable "partenaire" du succès partagé.
