THE BURN OUT... PUFF! ... WHAT A CHICK!
Did you know that burnout can be a valuable signal: a call to rebalance body and mind?
Like yoga, preventing burnout requires inner listening, adaptation and kindness towards oneself.
Written by Chloé Lesage - November 2024
Collapsible content
Reading time
About 10 minutes
BURNOUT: A SYMPTOM OF OUR TIMES OR AN OPPORTUNITY FOR RENEWAL?
Discover in this post an in-depth look at burnout: its mechanisms, its impacts, and avenues for recovery. Through the poignant testimony of a loved one and an analysis of the causes of inner exhaustion, explore how this syndrome can become a key to personal transformation.
What if, starting today, you rethink your relationship with work and with yourself to avoid exhaustion and encourage inner renewal?
"Let's take a look"!
THE BURN OUT...
"That's a new buzzword. We don't know what to invent anymore." "We shouldn't exaggerate." "He's overdoing it." "These are weak people who go through this." "But I didn't ask him to work all those hours."
This syndrome is so widely recognized and so little known, but it is frowned upon. Burnout is nevertheless one of the most widespread illnesses of our century: 3 million people are affected in France.
- What is Burnout?
- What are its mechanisms?
- What are his symptoms?
- How does the entourage experience it? Testimony.
- What should we do?
It is the entourage who first notices the anomalies in the situation.
In this article, we'll share some insights that can help you take action before you hit rock bottom. And if it's already too late, here's how to regain your power to act.
TESTIMONIES FROM A LOVED ONE: FROM FALL TO RECONSTRUCTION
I had never really been concerned about burnout. It was when I discovered it with amazement in my relationship that I was able to grasp its full dimension. I call it "the cancer of the personality."
One morning my partner, an entrepreneur for two years, no longer wanted to get out of bed.
I try to make him laugh, to entice him with a really good breakfast and I put on his favorite music, but no, he has no more strength... Ouch! Heartache. Stunned... Emergency... Quick! An appointment with a sophrologist during the day. He cries and won't stop...
It's true that for 6 months he's had phases where he falls, but now he's doing better. I picked him up each time, but he always fell lower, in fits and starts, until today. In hindsight, I see that I gave him the energy to continue and work harder, longer, stronger... thus encouraging the intensity of the Burn Out process.
Then comes the time of arguments, the feeling of being far from each other. We no longer speak to each other, nothing more to say. Friends explain to us that it's normal, it's the passage of time, of habit... When he goes on a trip or a vacation, he's so happy and when he comes back, "he's depressed." Are we both happy? Are we meant to be together? These were actually off-topic questions.
We argue, and he blames me for not being able to save him. I carry this guilt within me, although my mind reminds me that I cannot be responsible for it because those around me cannot be the other's therapist without risking establishing an unhealthy way of functioning. A clash between the heart and the mind.
At the slightest frustration or complexity, he panics. His body stiffens, his face decomposes... He turns gray. If I had to draw him, I would make a fog.
It's impossible to talk to him; every intonation sounds like he's saturated. The sheer flow of his thoughts makes him explode. Anything that broadens the scope of possibilities challenges too much of what he needs to define for his emotional security, even if it means being incoherent. He shouts "stop" and holds his head in his hands.
All things in daily life become complicated…
Money problems are looming on the horizon and are increasing our insecurity. This creates an urgency for him to work quickly, to quickly find salaried employment. If he becomes an employee in this state of burnout, how will he react when faced with authority, injunctions, complex tasks, and the expected need for production?
The discomfort he felt put all our plans on hold. He's not the same as before; some of his traits have disappeared, while others have become more pronounced.
For him, the source of the burnout was not the number of hours he worked, as they were around 40 hours per week, nor even his activities, as he had created a pleasant activity, in line with his values. What made him capsize were his internal representations linked to financial insecurity, to the potential disappointment of his father and his partner, if he ever failed.
We split up and he became a farmer in a completely different part of the country. His transition took 3 years and he seems happier than he's ever been.
WHAT IS BURN OUT? THE EXHAUSTION OF OUR MENTAL PATTERNS
It is a syndrome of exhaustion driven by overwork and dysfunctions in all dimensions of the person (physical, emotional, mental, environmental, etc.). A true internal chaos, it is the result of a process of overadaptation that drains the individual of all their resources.
This syndrome is often wrongly defined as professional exhaustion. While burnout exists just as much among entrepreneurs, job seekers, craftspeople, students, mothers, etc.
This is explained by the fact that it is not really the outside world that is responsible for the pressure that leads us to burnout but our relationship with ourselves (internal mechanisms, beliefs, etc.).
For example, "If I don't succeed, I'll fail in life." "I won't be able to feed my family." "I'll lose the love and recognition of others." "My sweetheart will leave me." "I won't be a good person." "I know that to succeed you have to suffer, like my father..."
The common thread running through this situation lies in this central question: What is my relationship with failure? What is the cost of not succeeding? The price of failure is far too high, unthinkable, insurmountable... These are vital issues.
Between doing violence to oneself and living the consequences (real or imagined) of a possible failure, it is better to push one's limits to the limit. To the limit. Absence of boundaries.
Unfortunately, the more boundaries are blurred, the more identity is lost.
PSYCHIC DISORDERS: THE GEARS OF FEAR OF THE CATASTROPHE SCENARIO
Obviously, this tension to succeed at all costs is often accompanied by a high level of demand. Unable to let go, the person already wants to be at the top, without asking how much time or resources it would have taken for others to get there.
Excessive, it's a race against time.
Overcome by panic, it is the reptilian brain that rules. The brain of reflexes, of survival... Entirely dispossessed, the individual, despite all his determination, is totally disconnected. He no longer has any reference points and no longer knows: which actions make sense, which decisions to make, what is good for him... He loses discernment, rationality and free will. He no longer knows how to listen to himself, respect himself and does not hear others. The brain overheats but no longer produces much despite the efforts. It becomes difficult to concentrate. The body overproduces hormones to try to cope with the situation.
And it is the physical body that brings the first symptoms. The process of descent into hell is a rollercoaster ride until the dropout.
To get through this, healing will be very gradual over several years. Everything will have to be rebuilt.
WHAT ARE THE SYMPTOMS? FALLING, DROPPING OUT AND BURN OUT
This condition affects people without necessarily having had a psychological or pathological history.
Depending on the stage, the symptoms are different.
During the fall, the person becomes emotionally and psychologically exhausted through compulsive tasks accompanied by repeated stress and generalized anxiety. They may isolate themselves or rather lock themselves into their situation. They force themselves, hoping to succeed while waiting for a better day. They lose their footing, lose control. Even if a part of them knows they are pedaling in the void, they believe that to succeed, they must do more, harder, longer...
Most people with burnout are in denial. They can't imagine it could happen to them. Recognizing that we are suffering is an admission of weakness that affects our self-image far too much.
When she hits rock bottom , it's as if the person is cut out, off-center. There is a stupefying effect. Time stands still... Empty, the person feels drained and alone despite the presence of others. She has the impression of not being understood and does not always understand herself.
When a person has broken down to the point of no longer being able to act, they also lose their place in the world. They are unable to fulfill their social roles, too exhausted to fulfill their role as a parent or see their friends, for example. They feel useless, ashamed, etc.
“We hit rock bottom, we look at ourselves: What’s happening to me? Why isn’t my body responding anymore? Why am I no longer able to do the little things of everyday life? What am I going to do? What will become of me?”
When you lose your sense of self , time stops. Mental patterns go round and round. A person loses their identity; they no longer recognize themselves. Their very personality traits disappear. For example, they might be joyful, but they become constantly tense.
HOW ARE THOSE AROUND THEM EXPERIENCING IT? AN EARTHQUAKE FOR ALL THOSE LOVED ONES
In social codes, you have to "put on a good face" and avoid showing your weaknesses so as not to be perceived badly. This requires even more effort to keep up the pressure. It is therefore often at the moment when the person cracks, when their body gives way, that those around them, surprised and stunned, become aware of what they did not suspect and which has just happened before their eyes for many months.
The person experiencing burnout is physically present but unable to perform their function. Destabilized, the entire system collapses. Those around them must reorganize. Each member must improvise, readjust, and cope with astonishment, helplessness, fear, incomprehension, anger, guilt, and so on. Those around them can oscillate between rejection and compassion.
In their struggle to cope, the person experiencing burnout makes inconsistent decisions, even if they mean well. For example, they may choose to move to a dream location, then one day later, apply for a position they don't like there. Those around them may then feel insecure because everyone is organizing around the information they've given, which will be completely called into question some time later.
Each of the loved ones questions their responsibility. There is the guilt of: not having seen, not having been able to stop it in time, not having managed to help, having lost patience... It's an earthquake.
In addition, the person is actually acting on the material conditions of those around them, no longer being able to produce, manage finances or do the shopping. This is instability. Complex feelings, attitudes and situations are to be expected until recovery.
At the end of the recovery process, there are often big tangible changes put in place: moving, change of professional activity... It will never be the same again but it will be for the better.
WHAT SHOULD BE DONE? ADVICE FOR RECONSTRUCTION
Severe fatigue can be resolved with a long break of a month, for example, which is not the case with burnout. It requires rebuilding the person's entire internal structure, reorganizing their environment, and recharging their batteries over several years. These are profound transformations.
The good news in post-burnout reconstruction is that the person will realize their value and build it from it. They will set their own indicators of recognition without needing others to provide it. Autonomous and peaceful, they will be able to develop all their abilities. The condition is to take the time to go through all the stages of reconstruction and resolve the source issues. Then, in a virtuous circle, increase: their self-confidence, their love and self-esteem, their talents, their values...
As a loved one, it is first necessary to protect yourself. Compensating for others is certainly noble, but be careful not to fall into burnout yourself. You should not hesitate to reorganize with family and friends to delegate what is possible, free up quality time for each other, but also offer yourself time for individual renewal, away from obligations and annoyances. There is no need to feel guilty; maintaining your inner balance is necessary to be a good support.
As far as possible, those around them must then relieve the person of their responsibilities and constraints. They must pamper them, cocoon them, make them feel safe, reassure them, calm them, and defuse the situation...
Not being fully discerning, the person experiencing burnout needs help making vital decisions. They must be allowed to make the essential choices at that moment and push the others aside as much as possible.
It is also crucial to allow him to do whatever gives him pleasure (obligatory) several times a day. He must be allowed (or even strongly encouraged) to rest and do things, not always productive or important: start drama classes, learn to cook, make art, visit museums...
Does she want to organize a getaway with friends? Great! Those around her should check that the person isn't pushing it just yet. It's forbidden to do anything, she should just enjoy herself.
It is important to help her think of herself first, even if it seems that others will not cope. She must understand that the subject, now, is her. As things are done well, it is precisely by leaving their problems to others that they end up finding surprising solutions and developing a new, more harmonious way of functioning.
Then comes the time for her to think about herself, rethink her values and rebuild her bearings at her own pace. This step back is often a key to success in rebuilding burnout.
RESISTANCE TO CHANGE: THE NEED TO EMPOWER OURSELVES
Healing can take several years, depending on the person, the degree of destruction and the quality of support.
It's almost impossible to get through this alone. Therapeutic support is essential to heal safely, without relapsing, and as effectively as possible.
It must be holistic: acting on the body, emotions, mind and environment: naturopath, sophrologist, coach, energy therapist, reiki, hypnosis, yoga, meditation…
To heal, some people experiencing burnout tend to want to move too fast. As soon as they feel better, they want to resume their initial pace. Therefore, it's important to slow them down so the process can take hold. It's vital to identify the internal patterns that led us to this situation, otherwise we risk relapsing. We then need to rebuild new, more constructive ones. Time is incompressible.
The same goes for those around us; we tend to underestimate this recovery period. We imagine that when the person feels better, they are cured. However, given everything that needs to be rebuilt, the process really takes time. When we feel that the person is becoming "normal" again, it is really necessary to complete the process because the risks of relapse are still too high. The more we accept this time, the faster we can move forward.
Most of the time, resistance to the healing path is denial and also concerns like: "I don't have the time or the money." As if there were a choice. Healing requires an inevitable investment. It is better to invest in yourself immediately to return serenely to active life rather than letting the suffering drag on for several years, the cyclical inability to face life, to be able to work and therefore to obtain the time and money.
WHAT IF IT WAS A CHANCE! BURN OUT IS THE STARTING POINT OF A NEW LIFE
"Maybe my life isn't over." Recovery is an opportunity, as the many people who have recovered from burnout attest.
Recognizing the presence of this syndrome means, above all, accepting our humanity and our need for limits.
We then open ourselves to a path of reconstruction, where each of us can reinvent ourselves with authenticity and strength. Because beyond the suffering, burnout can become an opportunity to reconnect with ourselves, to establish a life in harmony with our values, and to build a future that reflects us, even if it's scary.
So maybe it's finally worth celebrating?
Thank you so much for this article, Chloe!
Once again, your words shed light on sensitive and essential subjects, such as burnout, by offering us new perspectives to better understand and act.
Chloe's Bio
-
Chloé LESAGE
Leadership Coach and Project Facilitator
"A warrior at heart, that's often the conclusion I receive when I explain my life journey. After a difficult start on this earth, I sought inner balance and expansion through a 15-year journey of personal development where I tested all conventional and atypical practices.Since we never stop learning, I continually feed my thirst for understanding. High intellectual and emotional potential, I learned to put my abilities at the service of life so that it becomes a gift.
My method is at the junction between who I am, the reappropriation of my 2-year training in personal development coaching as well as all my life experiences.
It is a practice that puts into experience and intervenes, all at the same time, on the body, the emotions and the spiritual dimension. For me, it is out of the question to accompany for years what would cause, in my opinion, dependence. However, my work is to create the conditions for reappropriation of one's inner power to obtain immediate results in the materialization of one's objectives.
More information about his professional career
More articles from Chloe...
-
LOVE AS SHIELD AND INNER STRENGTH
DISCOVER THE ARTICLEDiscover how self-love can become a source of inner strength and a guide to deep and lasting well-being.
-
ARCHAIC REFLEXES
DISCOVER THE ARTICLELearn how unintegrated, archaic reflexes can affect your well-being and how to fix them.
-
THE DUEL OF WORDS
DISCOVER THE ARTICLELearn how to transform verbal abuse into opportunities for understanding and compassion with practical, compassionate guidance.
* Want to share a moment in your life that could inspire and touch the hearts of as many people as possible?
Pick up your pen and become our headliner starting next week!
The entire Yogaterrae team will be delighted to highlight your thoughts and experiences, which resonate at the heart of the Yogaterrae community, which has now become a true "partner" in shared success.